Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
