Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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