We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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