he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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