I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
