He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
