Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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