Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My pussy is not your playground.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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