would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
