do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
