You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
