I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
