I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I will die if light touches me.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
