I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize