College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
