I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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