Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
