i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
