I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
