every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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