i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
