Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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