Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
