My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
