Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
