There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
