is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
