You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize