Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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