i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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