I'm eating all of the evidence.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
