look no pants
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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