I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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