In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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