Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
