people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize