So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
