talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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