What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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