I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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