Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize