You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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