He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
