I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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