Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
