I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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