well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize