Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
