Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
