I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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