Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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