All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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