we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
