You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
