Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
