There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize