meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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