I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
