but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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